Deep POV (Limited Third Person)

One of the first things to decide when writing your novel is who tells the story. The two most popular choices are third person and first person. We hear much about both, but a reminder is always in order.

In first person narration, one character tells the whole story. The reader views and understands everything through one person’s eyes. Note this method used by debut author, Ladonna Cole, in a fantasy YA, The Torn:

 

          “No, Greg, You did not create them, but you can

    control them. Tell them to go away.”

          He grimaced at me and his face cracked with

    grief. I knew he didn’t believe me, yet, I was

    determined to convince him.

 

Notice the use of the letter “I”, and the word, “we.” The protagonist, Kate, tells the story. Readers know nothing away from what she sees, feels, hears, experiences.

 

I tell the story in my debut YA novel, Victoria and the Ghost, in third person. Notice the difference from this quote:

 

          Victoria moved to a cluster of graves at the southern

     back fence and began her work. Squatting hurt her legs.

     When she plopped her hips on the hard ground and stretched

     the kinks from her legs, she heard rattling. Movement

     caught her peripheral vision.

 

Notice in that excerpt, there’s no “I” or “we.” Instead, it’s “Victoria” and “she” that tells the events.

 

Several years ago, an agent described my third person novel as being in omniscient point-of-view.” I didn’t understand the criticism until I recently read an article by Mark Canter in my copy of the RWR magazine (put out by Romance Writers of America).

 

Canter says third person can be told in two forms, limited and omniscient. He describes omniscient as the narrator being a “disembodied witness who hovers over the characters and their actions, telling the reader exactly what’s going on externally and also inside each character’s heads.” His definition of limited third person is picking one character at a time and experiencing the story as if the reader is that character.

 

Years ago, I took a course called Deep Point-of-View. The teacher used this phrase as a method to put the reader into the character’s skin, not just hearing about it from the character.

 

Two examples:

 

     Calvin watched the man lift a gun and point it with shaky fingers at Calvin. Fear swept over him. He halted wondering if he could overpower his enemy in time to live.

 

     Calvin’s heart bounced with each bob of the gun. He took one step, two …. Sweat trickled down his temple. Click. The next sound would be a bang, but by then, he would be dead. His legs froze.

 

 

Which example puts you better into the character’s skin?

 

That’s deep POV.

 

Try writing your own examples, both hearing it through the POV character and then living it with the POV character. Feel the difference. Write like you’re experiencing it in real time.

 

Two more examples to help you get started:

 

     Renee awoke and looked around her. A bright light was shining in her face. The wall was a stark white, but she saw colors moving around her bed. Her arm was restrained by an IV. She wondered if she was still in Hawaii.

 

     Renee awoke and squinted against the bright light. A kaleidoscope of colors swirled against a stark white wall. An IV restrained one arm.

     Was she still in Hawaii?

Both examples give the same information. The first gives the story through Renee’s eyes. In comparison, though the second one gives it through Renee’s point of view, too, the reader lives it with her.

 

Notice the differences:

 

Deep POV uses more active verbs, less passive.

Deep POV doesn’t use filtering words such as she saw or she looked.

Deep POV shows, doesn’t just tell.

Deep POV makes you feel it along with the character.

 

In Deep POV, the writing is tighter.

 

What about you?

 

Do you write omniscient third person or limited third person, better known as deep POV?

 

Other helpful sites on this topic are:

 

http://www.hbarwa.com/MemberArticles/DeepPointofView.htm

  

http://margaretdaley.com/2011/04/point-of-view/

 

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/deep-pov/

How Important is the Cover?

McClure's new cover art

This week, a wonderful friend and fellow 4RV Publishing author, Beverly Stowe McClure revealed the cover art for her new middle grade book soon to be released. The picture tells me the story is about a young girl, basketball, and maybe a problem with ego. Aidana WillowRaven produced the cover for Star of the Team. I love it. I'm intrigued. It's a winner in my mind.

This big cover reveal got me to thinking.
How important is the illustration on your book cover?

Many faithful readers follow writers they love, but what about buying from a new author? Polls suggest that the first thing to catch our eye about a book is the cover. If the cover looks interesting, we pick up the book, read the back cover, and if still interested, read the first paragraph or two.

4RV Publishing released my debut YA novel a year and a half ago. Long before it did, I learned the importance of team work. Authors create stories. Editors read, correct, strengthen, and clarify the author's words. Then comes the illustrator. 4RV asked Aidana WillowRaven to create a cover for my book, Victoria and the Ghost. WillowRaven asked me questions about the main character's personal appearance. She asked about the setting and wanted to know important symbols in the story.

The Cover of my book

My fifteen-year-old main character wore shorts and flip-flops with her light brown hair loose and always blowing into her face. The ghost brought strange happenings to the setting of Clara Cemetery, in North Texas. (A real place.) One main happening involves a disappearing hopscotch drawing.

Ms. WillowRaven came up with Victoria praying over a hopscotch with trees and a church in the background. The picture tells the reader something is strange about this place.



A book's illustrator is listed on the copyright page of the book, but how often do they get recognition for their work? Yet, their creation helps authors sell books.

My advice to new and old authors is work well with your illustrator. Give her enough detail to see what you see. If you disagree with the arrangement or something in the drawing, speak up and explain. Work as a team to come up with a winning cover. It's important.

Let me leave you with two other book covers, one a new adult A Shadow in the Past,  by Melanie Robertson King, and Prairie Dog Cowboy, a YA book by Vivian Zabel.

                              

Think about what you see in these covers. What do you expect? What do you like about these 4 covers? What do you dislike? Think of your own work. Do the covers represent the story?

I would love your feedback. Lastly, we need to recognize our illustrators for work well done. Thank you, Aidana WillowRaven. Thanks to all the team at 4RV Publishing.

Add Depth to Writing with Expressive Words

Expressive types of speech can describe characters, put the reader into settings, and heighten or clarify action. Comparisons and explanatory word choices add depth to writing. Psychologist/writing teacher extraordinaire, Margie Lawson, claims there are many rhetorical devices to use in our writing, but twenty-five top her best-ever list.
 

Before taking her classes, I admit to only remembering four; simile, metaphor, oxymoron, and alliteration.

 

How many can you name?

 

How many do you use in your writing?

 

Expressive types of speech makes your writing not just good, but excellent.

 

I scanned a couple of my works in progress, picked out a few sentences, and applied an expressive type of speech to make the sentence or sentences visible and memorable. I first give a definition. Here’s  my before and after sentences to spark your imagination.

 

Alliteration – using the same consonant sounds in a row.

 

Before - Her mother’s calls unsettled her.

 

After – Her mother’s calls drenched her with discomfort, distaste, and disappointment.

  

Simile - comparing one thing with something else (usually used with like or as).

Before – Her words hurt Lacey.

After - Her words sliced through Lacey like tornados shattered Texas cornfields.

Before – His going to church was rare.

After - His going to church was like moving a redneck into New York City.

Metaphor – Comparing two things by using one in place of the other.

Before – A river wound through the canyon walls.

After – A green snake writhed between canyon walls.

Before – When Victoria moved to the country, she got a cute guy, but I get an old, crippled-looking man.

After - When Victoria moved to the country, she got a cute guy, but I get Gandolf from Lord of the Rings. 

For those who read my book, “Victoria and the Ghost,” the above example comes from the sequel due out in June, 2014.

Personification – speaking of inanimate objects like they were alive.

Before – Purple wildflowers bloomed at the rocks’ edge.

After - Purple wildflowers wiggled their stiff stems and demanded space amongst the rocks.

Oxymoron – two words that mean the exact opposite

Before - She wore make-up but was still ugly.

After – She was as gorgeous as Godzilla in makeup.

Anaphora – is repeating the same words or phrases three times for emphasis.

Before – (only the original sentence) Her heart moved out of her chest, skimmed her stomach, wiggled toward her toes.

After - (same sentence but added anaphora)  Her heart moved out of her chest, skimmed her stomach, wiggled toward her toes.

  Perhaps it was his too-sad eyes.

  Perhaps it was his too-caring tone.

  Perhaps it was the way he caught her when her legs gave way.

Well, there’s my examples.

 

I challenge you to go through your works in progress. Use expressive types of speech to clarify, heighten sensory, and rev up action.  Make your writing superb.

PLOTTING 101

We get an idea for a story.

Perhaps, we know something about the main character and what goes wrong in their lives.

            (Obviously, something goes wrong, or there wouldn’t be a story)

Maybe, we can imagine a hint of how that character’s problem is solved. Perhaps not.

 

A character with a problem needing resolution might give us a short story, but a full-length novel or even a novella, that doesn’t make. At some point we have to fill 200, 300, 400 pages of what writers like to call sagging middle.

 

This post won't work for some. True pantsers hate plotting in any form, but for those who need some direction, here’s my solution, my suggestion, my system.

 

On a blank sheet of paper, draw this silly looking diagram that I fondly call my amoeba.

 

Thee "amoeba" for my one published novel, "Victoria and the Ghost."

Write the working title at the top, the main character’s name to the top left along with what it is that they want. Then, I write on the top right the antagonist’s name and what they want. In a romance, this would be the spot for the hero’s name. On my drawing, I could’ve put the ghost, or any one of Victoria’s friends. I chose her dad because he’s who Victoria blames for all her trouble. At the middle top, write why the main character can’t have what they want. What’s stopping them?

 

At the #1 tip of the amoeba, write where the story starts, the "inciting incident," as some call it. This may be all we have when we begin, but we can add as we write and as we decide what happens next, or we can write suggestions at each tip of the amoeba and aim for that. Either can work. It depends on how we prefer to plot. We all plot at some point, or we can’t write a book.

 

Tips for Picking Up Sagging Middles

1. Give the protagonist a new complication to reaching her goal

2,    Give the protagonist an extra problem to solve separate from the main goal

3. Give a secondary character a problem to solve.

     4. Make a list of things that could thwart the protagonist from getting their goal. Usually the items

        at the bottom of your list will be most interesting. We start with obvious problems.

 

     5. Ask the question; what would my main character never do? Then, have him/her do it. This

        could start a whole new plot twist.

A quote that points us in the right direction when trying to come up with new plot twists comes from Nancy Kress  in her book Beginnings, Middles, & Ends.

 

       “The forces developed in the middle must emerge naturally out of the characters and situations introduced at the beginning.”

 

This comes back to what your main character wants, and why he/she can’t have it.

 

As I add plot twists to the swerves of my amoeba design, I realize something that helps me. While I’m writing my novel, and I reach plot twist number 3, I’m halfway around the amoeba which means halfway through the book. This is a guide. If I’ve reached this point and my word count is 20K, but I’m writing a novel of 60K, I’ve got a problem. This clues me to the fact that I need to develop plot twist #2 more, or I’ve added plot twist #3 too quickly.

 

I hope my simple suggested way of plotting helps.

Let me know if you have other ideas on how to help sagging middles or think up new plot twists. I’d love to hear from you. I always need help.

You Have a Book Contract. Now, what?

What have I learned from getting my first book contract that I’d do better next time?

                                                                 LOTS

I was green as an alien. 4RV Publishing offered me my first contract in July, 2011. I'm grateful they took such a newbie under their wings.

 

Here’s my top ten tips:


1. Read your contract and clarify anything you don’t understand.

2. Have a professional picture and a short bio ready to go.

      3. Read any guidelines or information given by the publisher.

 

      4. Make friends in your local area with librarians, book store owners, and newspaper columnists before your book comes out, and you want a favor.

 

      5. Stay in town or with definite internet access during the last two months before release of the book.

 

      6. .Have an acknowledgement page ready to go when requested.

 

      7. Search out like books online and in book stores for what you desire in the cover art, so you’re ready with input when asked.

 

      8. Get reviewers and guest blogs lined up before your book releases.

 

      9. Consider arranging for a blog tour to announce the book

 

     10. Publishing is a team effort. You need the publisher, but they also need you, so don’t fear speaking up about something you don’t like or asking questions on anything you don’t understand

 

      11. Be ready to work as hard on the manuscript after the contract as you did before the contract.

Okay, I gave you 11. Sue me.

Does anyone else have words of wisdom to share?

BE YOUR OWN CRITIQUE PARTNER

     Critique partners or groups can be a writer's valuable asset, but what happens when your time is short or you lose your partner? Laying aside your story in progress for a period of time gives you a new perspective and a fresh approach.

          How long is a period of time?

          That depends on time available..

               Optimal would be months or at least weeks. Put aside the story and 1) Write several articles, short stories, or blog posts  2) Plot out a new manuscript 3) Rewrite another  rough draft 4) Brainstorm new ideas for stories 5) Write a brand new rough draft 6) Do final edits on a story for deadline

               If you don’t have weeks or months, aim for days. 1) Attend a conference or workshop 2) Take a vacation 3) Write one or two short pieces 4) Do a major housecleaning or closet redo 5) Take a temporary job or  get involved in a volunteer opportunity.

               What if a deadline is looming and you have mere hours? 1) Take a walk outdoors 2) Go for a couple hours of shopping and try on clothes 3)Watch a movie 4) Meet a friend for lunch or a coke 5) Have a heart to heart talk with a loved one.

Do you get the idea? Take a break from that story. Move your thinking away from it. Allow a short period of time when your mind dwells on something besides that story.

Now, you’re ready to go back over it for a critique.

Use the same techniques that you use to critique someone else’s work. Here’s a possible ten things to remember.

1.  Don’t dwell on the negative. Point out what you like about the writing or story and bask in the warm glow of confidence.

 

     2. Does the first sentence or two make you want to read more?  Does the beginning set the tone of

         the book and keep that tone until the end?

3. Does the ending satisfy you and tie up all loose ends?

 

4. Do you lose interest about chapter 4-7, or does your interest continue to peak? Check for plot points and the black moment. Could you eliminate or add characters? Does it flow? Is the pace appropriate for each scene?

5. Check for passive words. Do you have lots of action verbs? Can you turn sentences around to make them active? Circle the words was, were, have, had, to be, being. Is there some of them you can eliminate?

Examples: Before: Lacey’s body was tense.

                  After:   Tension gripped Lacey’s body.

                 Before: Shelley’s head was hot from the sun beaming on it.

                  After:    Sunbeams heated Shelley’s head.

Look through your manuscript for such examples you might improve.

              

6. Is there a portion of your story that you summarized which should be a real-time scene? What about the reverse? Is there a real-time scene that you might summarize to avoid lagging interest? Is there any scene that doesn’t further the story or the characterization. If so, eliminate it.

 

7. Do a find for words that you use too often and get rid of them? I seem to love just so often have to delete it. What about at least, more often, really, a lot?” What about a really good word that adds to your story like captivate? Use only once, or it ceases to carry power

Examples: Before: She just loved the mall.

                  After:   She loved the mall. – This means the same without the extra word,.

       You might use the extra word as part of your characterization, however.

 

         Adverbs, got to love them, or hate them, but most experts say delete them.

Examples: Before: I’m very excited to be here.

                              After:     I’m excited to be here.

              Leave off the adverb and it means the same thing.

              Maybe, it would be better to turn it around and make it active.

                                  Excitement doubled me over with stomach butterflies.

 

8. Is every portion of dialogue needed? Does it further the story? Does it tell about the character? Does each character's dialogue sound different? Does body language replace words? 

Examples:   “Hey, Lace, stop it. You’re a gorgeous woman.”

                     “Ditto, Boss."

                     “I’m old, overweight, and overwhelmed. That’s what I am and that's what I'll stay because I'm weak-willed and a pushover..”

        Did I succeed at sounding like three different characters without dialogue tags or beats? That’s our challenge.

.    9.     Check for point of view problems. Look through one person's eyes only. We can know their

            thoughts, what they see, what they smell, but we can't know anyone else's view.

             Check for show, don't tell problems. This gets many of us.

                       I can't just tell you Victoria hates living in the country.

                       I must show chickens pecking her legs, and the sun burning her face. Her thoughts

                              must  reveal the loneliness she feels without a friend..

    10. Did you introduce too many characters in the beginning and confuse the reader? Start with no

           more than three named characters if possible. A good way then to introduce other characters is

           to let us learn about them from the original characters before introducing them.

Read your story out loud and look for anything that makes you stop, pause, or try to understand. Instead, keep the reader plowing through your words not being able to stop even at the chapter breaks.

Use a critique partner if you can. If not, be your own. 

Janet K. Brown lives in Wichita Falls, Texas and loves to write, visit with grandkids, and travel with her husband in their RV.  4RV Publishing released her debut novel, Victoria and the Ghost, an inspirational YA in 2012. The example in number nine above comes from that book. Visit with Janet at her website/blog: http://www.janetkbrown.com

 

 

Purchase site for Victoria and the Ghost. http://4rvpublishingcatalog.yolasite.com/janet-brown.php

 

 

Timely Tips

God allocates each of us twenty-four hours a day, yet it’s never enough.


Writing may begin small, as a hobby. We love it. We spend any extra hours writing more and more, longer and longer. God puts the longing in our heart to get our written words into circulation where others can read them.


At some point, the hobby changes into a career. We submit our words, and a publisher releases the finished product to the public. We learn that now, we have two jobs; writing and promoting beside any other demands.


Below, find tips to redeem your time.


1. Use a timer for social media.


Start by timing yourself on a normal day. Discover how many hours you spend on all the different types of social media. Don’t discount this. Online promotion is critical to our success. I counted four hours a day that I surfed Facebook, Twitter, two e-mail addresses, and several blogs (mine included.) Some days when I had weekly or monthly obligations on guest blogs, that time swells to five or six hours.

How could I stop? I needed a presence, but I didn’t need an obsession.

A small kitchen timer works magic. I subscribe to a time allowance for each type of social media that adds no more than two hours a day. Now, I have two to four hours more for writing.

2. Use traveling time to plot.


In Texas, crisscrossing a couple hundred miles every other week isn’t unusual. My northeastern friends might ride trains or subways. Some may fly a lot on their day job. However you travel, when you’re not driving, utilize this time.


Bring pen and paper, Notebook or IPAD. Plot your next book. Jot down a chapter by chapter outline. Let your mind run free as the scenery passes your window.


3. Set your alarm five minutes early to brainstorm in bed. 3.


When you first come awake, you’re in never-never-land for a few moments. During that time, think on a plot problem or ask yourself how your character would react to a situation.


During these five minutes, your brain floats into creative mode with ease. You have yet to turn on your editor thoughts. Great progress can be made at this point.


4. First things first.


Most writers claim social networking interrupts their writing more than anything else. My suggestion is write first.


Resist the temptation to see if you have an e-mail answer from someone until you’ve written a set number of words, or until you’ve finished your synopsis, or whatever your goal for the day might be. Do the most important thing on your list first.


Use the social media as a reward. Try interval posting. Write 1K words and congratulate yourself with thirty minutes of surfing the net.


5. Be a list maker.


At night, make a priority list for the following day. Number one for a Christian might be quiet time with God.


Number two, would be WRITE unless life sends you an emergency.


***Note*** a dirty floor isn’t an emergency. A sick child is.


If you work a day job, this formula would still work but could involve waking up earlier, or beginning your list after work.

List promotion goals next.


Then, go to housecleaning, filling out tax forms, paying bills, or whatever your list includes. Prioritize every chore you do.

6. Have a stop time to read.


Stephen King said, If you don't have time to read, you don't have time or tools to write.


Allow for a stop time on your day. Read in the genre you write. Read in genres you never write. Read writing craft books and magazines. Read inspirational books. READ to prepare for your next day.


7. Help me, help me.


Do you have family that could help with housework? Friends that might run an errand for you? Can you simplify meals? Does your hubby know how to mop?


Incorporate your need for exercise by folding laundry with your small children. Break for a long time of sitting at your computer by running the vacuum. Use that creative imagination of yours to solve this riddle.


8. How do I say no?


Plan ahead what you will or will not do. If you’re given no time, tell the asker you need to think about it. Never answer “yes” on the spot.


Plan ahead how you will handle interruptions because they will happen.


Try some or all of these time-management tips. Incorporate suggestions of your own. More than anything, whether you work another job or not, writing must be viewed as a career, not a hobby.