The Sound of Story

By Suzanne Y. Cordatos

www.suzannecordatos.blogspot.com

The cool music director of my daughter’s 5^th grade band goes for classic rock ‘n roll and traditional marches— the stuff that sounds good really loud. The young people haven't yet developed the ability to play a range of sounds through their shiny new instruments, so these pieces sound good the louder the better!

Does your work-in-progress sound too one-note?

• Is your writing packed with lightning-paced action?
•  Do you play tour guide for your readers, meandering through description (and avoiding nasty things like confronting your beloved character with bad guys and car chases?)
• Is witty, contemporary dialogue your thing?
• Do you stay in your comfort zone by relying heavily on one of these elements?

A radio hit tells us we’ll “miss the sun when it starts to snow” and we'll know you "love her when you let her go.” Without contrasts, it is difficult to recognize what is sometimes right in front of our noses. In a good book, readers are more compelled to turn pages when emotional highs and lows pull them along. Who doesn't like to cheer in the stands when a favorite character is the underdog?

Layer notes in your composition

•          Make satisfying “ups” by writing worst-case “downs”
•          If your story flies at a fast pace, how will the climax stand out?
•          If the characters don’t slow down to offer their thoughts, when will the reader identify with a character and process what is happening?
•     Talking-head characters need feet grounded in reminders of setting, so a reader can walk along. 

Musicians grow in talent when they add notes and technique to their repertoire. The conductor guides an ensemble through the score to convey the composer’s intended volume and feeling: soft pianissimo, loud forte, dramatic rhythm, or soothing flow. Music can play upon emotions like a dance, a falling in and out of love. My other talented daughter is singing this weekend in a production of Les Miserables with Colchester Community Theater. The music in Les Mis has the power to make one feel hope, anger, love, determination, longing and despair—and I’m probably missing another half dozen emotions in this list! Who doesn't love a good show (OR BOOK) that makes us laugh and cry, often at the same time?

Warning: One-note novels can be boring and exhausting to read.  

For a more interesting balance, alternate scenes with moments of contemplation—a quiet opportunity for your main character to reflect on what has gone down. More importantly, it will give your reader time to worry about what comes next. 

Have you enjoyed a book especially "musical" in its emotional complexity? When you read, do you like to feel you are in the competent hands of a good conductor? Share some titles!

Add Depth to Writing with Expressive Words

Expressive types of speech can describe characters, put the reader into settings, and heighten or clarify action. Comparisons and explanatory word choices add depth to writing. Psychologist/writing teacher extraordinaire, Margie Lawson, claims there are many rhetorical devices to use in our writing, but twenty-five top her best-ever list.
 

Before taking her classes, I admit to only remembering four; simile, metaphor, oxymoron, and alliteration.

 

How many can you name?

 

How many do you use in your writing?

 

Expressive types of speech makes your writing not just good, but excellent.

 

I scanned a couple of my works in progress, picked out a few sentences, and applied an expressive type of speech to make the sentence or sentences visible and memorable. I first give a definition. Here’s  my before and after sentences to spark your imagination.

 

Alliteration – using the same consonant sounds in a row.

 

Before - Her mother’s calls unsettled her.

 

After – Her mother’s calls drenched her with discomfort, distaste, and disappointment.

  

Simile - comparing one thing with something else (usually used with like or as).

Before – Her words hurt Lacey.

After - Her words sliced through Lacey like tornados shattered Texas cornfields.

Before – His going to church was rare.

After - His going to church was like moving a redneck into New York City.

Metaphor – Comparing two things by using one in place of the other.

Before – A river wound through the canyon walls.

After – A green snake writhed between canyon walls.

Before – When Victoria moved to the country, she got a cute guy, but I get an old, crippled-looking man.

After - When Victoria moved to the country, she got a cute guy, but I get Gandolf from Lord of the Rings. 

For those who read my book, “Victoria and the Ghost,” the above example comes from the sequel due out in June, 2014.

Personification – speaking of inanimate objects like they were alive.

Before – Purple wildflowers bloomed at the rocks’ edge.

After - Purple wildflowers wiggled their stiff stems and demanded space amongst the rocks.

Oxymoron – two words that mean the exact opposite

Before - She wore make-up but was still ugly.

After – She was as gorgeous as Godzilla in makeup.

Anaphora – is repeating the same words or phrases three times for emphasis.

Before – (only the original sentence) Her heart moved out of her chest, skimmed her stomach, wiggled toward her toes.

After - (same sentence but added anaphora)  Her heart moved out of her chest, skimmed her stomach, wiggled toward her toes.

  Perhaps it was his too-sad eyes.

  Perhaps it was his too-caring tone.

  Perhaps it was the way he caught her when her legs gave way.

Well, there’s my examples.

 

I challenge you to go through your works in progress. Use expressive types of speech to clarify, heighten sensory, and rev up action.  Make your writing superb.

5 Tips to Make Dialogue POP

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. Many celebrated by popping their own fireworks or watching experts pop them making beautiful displays of fire and light. Writing dialogue filled with a fiery pop challenges every fiction writer.

 A couple of weeks ago, I attended a 4-day Immersion with psychologist, writer, world-acclaimed teacher, Margie Lawson. I returned home with my mind popping with ideas. Today, I’d like to give you my key take-back-to use tips from that workshop.

 

A big percent of dialogue is silent.

1. How does your character sound?  Is he loud? Does she speak with throaty, sultry undertones? When a person speaks, we listen to how they say something as much as we listen for the actual words.

“Charles” can become a question, an endearment, or a cry of fear. On the paper, how would I know, if I don’t explain how the dialogue is delivered? If I’m scared, I might write it like:

     “Charles.” The tone she used sounded like the squeal of a tornado alarm.

 

 If I’m telling of my love, you would see something like:

    “Charles.” The lilt of my words seemed to wash over him like a bubble bath.

2. What’s your character’s body language?  He might shift with nervousness or cross his arms over his chest, but I doubt he stands still. Show us what he looks like while he speaks. For ideas, watch people in a waiting room. They thumb through magazines. They cross and swing their right leg. They shift positions several times. They clasp hands and roll their thumbs in a circular motion. Study body language at a mall, an airport, or a library.

 

     3. Is there action going on while they talk? People often work while they talk. They may continue

        to saddle a horse, or wash the dishes. They may move closer into their friend’s face. Do they

        skip, run, or do calisthenics while they answer, in which case, they are probably breathless?

 

      4. Do you want your character to smile? Good. What does the smile look like? Is it a brilliant,

         thousand-watt smile or one that’s bittersweet, disappointed, sad?

 

      5. Describe your character. The first time you “meet” the character, the reader needs to visualize

          the person.

With glasses perched on her tousled-blonde head, she twisted her mouth in a lost-

                        in-thought reflection. “That might work.”

            Or, you may know the character, but need to see the effects on their looks later in the book.

            This is a good place for similes or alliteration to heighten the description, such as:

                    “I wish I could do that.” Her face relaxed like a prune soaking in water.

 

I hope my take-home tips spur your imagination to add pizzazz or pop or potential to your prose. Don’t forget the non-verbal communication. I would love to read your examples.

On a Whimsical Wednesday, Enjoy Being Surrounded by Nature

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"On a Whimsical Wednesday Enjoy Being Surrounded by Nature" by Joan Y. Edwards

Sometimes you need a little connection with nature to get your sails going and the ideas flowing. I want to share with you things I've witnessed with nature that were truly amazing.

In the 1990's when my daughter, Lorrie and I were at the Grand Canyon, it started lightning and thundering in the distance.  It was a beautiful light show with flashes of lightning and thunder sounding deep like the bass drums in a symphony. I wanted to get it on tape, so Lorrie used the camcorder and I used the still camera, and we took pictures. The next day a park ranger told us that lightning strikes about 300 people every year. Lorrie and I looked at each other and said, "Now he tells us." We were lucky we were safe.

When I went to visit the Grand Canyon about ten years later with my husband, Carl, we saw a coyote. He had traffic stopped and people were taking pictures. I love coyotes. I didn't get to take a picture on the way in. I said, "Wow! I hope that coyote is still there when we leave. Sure enough that coyote was still there. After I took a picture of him, he walked away in the trees nearby. I think the coyote knew that I wanted a picture of him. How cool of him to wait for me!

One December day in 2007, a lady named Pat came to help me take care of my Mother. She looked out the kitchen window and said, "Do you always have deer in your backyard?"

I said with wide eyes, "No. I've never seen deer in our backyard."

She said, "There are nine of them out there now."

By the time I got my camera they had all gone out of view. I said, "Oh man. Deer, please come back. I want to take your picture." At a count of twenty in my mind, low and behold all nine of the deer leaped back into my vision so I could take a picture. There were six does and three fawns. Then they pranced out of my view across our neighbor's lawn. I never saw them in our backyard again.

Look all around you, nature awaits you. Capture its moments in your mind, or on film and use it to create interesting highlights for your books. Draw a sketch of what happened. Describe it so that others can share in your joy and excitement. Describe it so well that others can see a picture in their minds.

On a Whimsical Wednesday or any other day of the week, I encourage you to take at least 15 minutes to notice nature that surrounds you either at home, at work, or in your vacation spot. Enjoy being in tune with nature.

Good luck with your writing. Please leave a comment and share a nature encounter of yours.

May your writing bring you much joy, health, and wealth.
Joan Y. Edwards