Active vs. Passive Voice by Katie Hines

What Makes A Sentence?

Basic, traditional sentence structure follows what is known as the SVO pattern. “S” refers to a subject, or something performing an action; “V” refers to a verb, which is the action; and, “O” refers to the object, or something receiving the action. Please note that not all sentences have an “object.”

What is the Passive Voice?

Passive voice is the opposite of active voice, and results from the overuse of the “be” verbs: am, is, was, were, be, being and been.

The passive voice is often found in sentences that begin with “there is,” “there are,” “it is” and “they are.”

Examples of passive voice:

• There were a great number of dead birds on the ground.

• There were many cows behind the fence.

• There are four to eight members in each of our critique groups.

What is the Active Voice?

The active voice uses strong action verbs, such as toss, run, jump, fly, etc.

Using the active voice allows the reader to visualize what the writer is describing or saying.

The following are examples of the active voice. Note how the above sentences are changed from passive to active voice:

• Dead birds littered the ground.

• Cows stood behind the fence.

• Our critique groups host four to eight members.

When to Use the Passive Voice

Although the use of the passive voice is often linked to weak sentences, there is a place where the use of it shines.

The passive voice is used very effectively in scientific or technical writing, where it emphasizes the process or principle being described, instead of the person performing the action.

For example, use of the passive voice is effective in the following sentence:

Open drawer two in the printer to add standard-sized paper.

However, in most fiction, the use of the passive voice slows down writing and makes it wordy.

Nancy Lamb, children’s author of The Writer’s Guide to Crafting Stories for Children, says on p. 205 of that same book:

“The difference between adequate prose and good prose is the difference between the passive and active voice. Make certain that active verbs drive your prose.”

Be especially careful not to mix active and passive voice in the same sentence!

When to Use the Active Voice

Use of the active voice brings an event into immediacy for the reader, into the present, and makes them connect more strongly with what’s being written.

For those who are grammatically challenged, think of “active” in connection with the active voice, for the active voice brings the action from the past (from having already happened) into the present.

The active voice “does it now.”

Using the active voice, with its attending action verbs, eliminates wordiness and makes what is written more interesting to read.

Promotion: Book Trailer for Wolf

posted by Vivian Zabel

     Another book coming out in March is Wolf, written by Harry (Brian) Porter and illustrated by Theresa Stites. Aidana WillowRaven created a book trailer for the short YA novella, which has beautiful black and while illustrations.

     Watch for book to be available on the 4RV Bookstore, as well as in bookstores and online stores.

     Now let's enjoy the trailer.









4RV Publishing

Writing Tip - Dialogue can be fun

by Stephanie Burkhart  


 Writing dialogue can be fun, but a challenge. Dialogue must do several things well to be effective so I thought I'd share some tips and ideas on writing dialogue.

#1 – Dialogue should sound authentic, but not reflect real life too closely.

In real life people greet each other with:

"Hello, Bob."
"Hi, Sue. How are you doing?"
"I'm okay. You?"
"I have a little headache."

Dull and boring, huh? Try to strip as much of these exchanges that you can from your dialogue. Get to the heart of the matter by passing over pleasantries. Rule of thumb: Stay away from pointless chit chat.

#2 – Dialogue should move the plot forward, but not be an info dump.

When you use dialogue, reveal a little about your character, but don't go into a monologue that reads like an info dump.

"Lord Varga does not like garlic," said Lazlo.
Amelia arched an eyebrow. "I didn't know. Why?"
"It makes him sick."
"How interesting. Garlic is known for it's healing properties."
Lazlo pursed his lips.

#3 – Avoid dialect in dialogue.

Why? Quite honestly, most authors can't do it well and readers who don't "get it" might find it a bit stilted.

#6 – You are what you speak.

The words characters say reveal who they are so make them shine. Are they educated? Young? Friendly? What do they value?

"Old lady Jenning's pig ran away again."
"Did you find him?"
"Sure did – down by the river."
"Did you return the pig?"
"Sure did. She said she appreciated my honesty."

#7 – Dialogue shows suspense

The lack of dialogue or reluctance to talk may heighten the suspense.

"Do you know what she wanted?"
"Yeah."
"What?"
"What was what?"

All these are tools you can use to help develop your story. A note about dialogue tags:
You should only use "he said" or "she replied" when you need to identify the speaker. Other "tags" you can use, I refer to as action tags. For example:

Amelia arched an eyebrow. "I didn't know. Why?"
"I didn't know. Why?" she asked.

The action tag puts you more in the moment.

Have a great week all!
My upcoming book, "First Flag of New Hampshire" will be out with 4RV Publishing shortly. It's a young adult book. BLURB: Can Alyssa and Miguel find the First Flag of New Hampshire before time runs out on their project?

Promotion: PostCard Trailer for Life on Hold

posted by Vivian Zabel   

     Since Life on Hold is not an illustrated book, Aidana WillowRaven created a Post Card Trailer to promote the book. The young adult book is written by Beverly Stowe McClure. Life on Hold will be released about the middle of March. Watch for it, since it will be available through the 4RV Bookstore as well as any brick and mortar or online bookstore.

4RV Publishing

Promotion: Book Trailer for Porcupine's Seeds

posted by Vivian Zabel 

     One of 4RV's new picture books, written by new author to 4RV Viji K. Chary and illustrated by Bridget McKenna, is Porcupine's Seeds. Aidana WillowRaven created a book trailer to go with the book.

     Porcupine's Seeds will be available in the 4RV Bookstore in two weeks, after it's released.












4RV Publishing

Plan a Book Tour: Be a Gracious Guest and Effective Promoter

Plan a Book Tour: Be a Gracious Guest and Effective Promoter
By Karen Cioffi

You researched and planned a unique and engaging book tour. Your hosts are booked, the schedules are prepared, and you chose on-the-mark prizes to give to random winners who will take the time to comment on the tour stops.

But, whether you created and are managing your own book tour, or you’ve hired a publicist or book touring service, there are a few additional touring tips you should consider in order to be a gracious guest and effective promoter:


•    Have all your promotional material readily available, including pictures of you and your book cover, reviews, a synopsis, and excerpts. The same goes for any articles you’re providing. Make your guest spot as easy for the host as possible; this means emailing your host any content agreed upon in a timely manner. Give your host plenty of time to prepare his/her post for you. Many bloggers like to pre-post their posts; having the content early will be helpful.

•    Be sure to make note of each site you will be on and the date you’ll be featured. I have a daily calendar book that I enter all important information into. I also got a monthly desk calendar that I leaned against the wall next to my computer – the bigger the better. But, you can use any form of calendar or schedule, as long as it will work for you. 

•    Prepare and publish a press release that lists all the information for your tour. You will need to post your tour schedule on your sites, and ask your hosts if they would post it on their sites also. I took advantage of Donna McDine’s Author PR Services (http://authorprservices.com). Donna did a great job; the release was professional and effective. I highly recommend her services.

•    Promote each tour stop on your social networks.

•    It’d also be a good idea to send a reminder to each host a couple of days before his/her day. It may happen that one or two hosts will forget and that reminder will be very helpful in keeping your tour on track.

•    The day of each guest spot, be sure to visit the site throughout the day to answer any questions from visitors who take the time to comment, and thank them for stopping by. It’s important to also thank each of your hosts in the comments area. You should also send each host a thank you email, after the spot.

•    In addition to thanking each host (during and after the tour), let them know that you would be happy to reciprocate.

•    Finally, go back to each tour stop daily to see if there are any additional comments. If there are, respond to them and add the visitors’ names to the list you should be using for the contest.

Note: Anticipate things coming up and the tour possibly going off track here and there. While each of your hosts has every intention of following through, sometimes things happen. Just go with the flow, shrug or laugh it off.

Winding it Up

After your tour, send an email to the prize winners to let them know they won and include which prize they won. You should also create a post naming the winners. Finally, be sure to follow through and send the winners their prizes.

For a week-by-week, step-by-step, comprehensive article about a book tour, you can check out Mayra Calvani’s article: “Demystifying Virtual Book Tours” (http://mayrassecretbookcase.blogspot.com/2008/04/demystifying-virtual-book-tours-by.html).

~~~~~~~
Learn about writing and marketing with Karen Cioffi at http://karencioffiwritingandmarketing.com. Sign up for her free newsletter, A Writer’s World, and get TWO free site-related e-books for subscribing, and ONE more just for stopping by.

What Is a First page?

 by Joan Y. Edwards

The first page is not to be mixed up with the Title Page, Copyright page, or Dedication page.
What is a first page?

Magnet

• A first page is the magnet that brings a reader in.
• It's the hook that brings your reader into your story and keeps him there.
• It's the grabber that yanks him with words and emotion so strong that he can't set himself free, until the problem is solved at the end of the book.
• It's the trap that holds readers inside the pages of the book.
• It's the enticement to stay a little longer in this make-believe world
• It sells the rest of your manuscript

At the most, depending upon the genre, a first page double-spaced could be 250 words.
What does the First Page Do?
What makes a great first page? It tells who, what, when, where, and why should I care? Hmm. You say. That sounds like the same thing that should be in a pitch. Yes. You're right.  I venture to say that each page in a book should contain something about leading up to the solution of the problem or the making it worse.
A first page hints of the dilemma facing the main character.
Tells the inner and outer conflict of the main character.
Tells the setting.
Tells the time. When you read it, you know by the first page whether it is 100 years ago or sometime in the same century as you.
Why should the reader care? It pulls you in with emotions that a reader can identify with.
Just for comparison and enlightenment: Let's look at the first pages of three of your favorite top-selling books in the genre you have chosen to write in.
You get your books in front of you or go to the Amazon link to its first page.
What must a first page have? A main character, setting, time, goal, and obstacle/opposing force/villain.
Wait. That's not all. On this first page you must also give emotional pull on the reader that shows him why he should care.
Look at 3 first pages. Have the books open to the first page or click on Amazon where they show you the first page of this best-selling book.
Print out the first page of the manuscript you're ready to send off to a critique group, editor, or agent.
Look at the first page of the story  in Chapter One. Look for the things a first page has:

Hook

• Main character

• Setting

• Time

• Goal

• Obstacle

• Emotional pull (Why Should I Care? Universal Emotion)

Chances are they've given you hints of the major problem in the story. What's at stake for the main character? Life? Death? Success? Fame? Fortune?
Does your first page have Pizzazz? Raise curiosity in the reader?
Can your readers relate to the main character? Feel for him? Cheer for him? Be scared with him? Cry with him?

Heart

If your manuscript lacks this emotional tug at the heartstrings of your reader, add it. When an agent or editor can't get your character out of their heads is when you have them, hook, line, and sinker!
Good luck with your publishing dreams. Keep unwavering faith in you and your stories.