Information to help others become better readers, writers, designers, and illustrators
Saturday, June 27, 2020
The Flash Flashes Back - Using Flashbacks
I have waded through books that have so many flashbacks the story is lost. I have enjoyed stories that the author used flashbacks so well the story flowed. How does one use flashbacks well, and when should one not use any?
Let's have a lesson in flashbacks.
A flashback can bring information needed for a reader to understand a character or plot better, or one can overwhelm the reader with too much information. Too many flashbacks disrupt the story line and confuse the reader.
Let's look at tips for writing flashbacks:
1. Know if and when your story needs a flashback (and use seldom). A flashback must be an essential part of the story. Never use a flashback in the middle of an action scene.
2. Look at examples of flashbacks in stories. (see sample)
3. A flashback must focus on a single event or experience.
4. Never make a flashback the first or even the second scene. Have it follow a strong scene.
5. “Signal” a flashback’s beginning and end. Let a character’s words or actions lead the reader into the flashback and then back out.
Example: Craig’s mind wandered back to Vietnam, the battle that destroyed his life.
Example: Marion smiled as she remembered that meeting.
Example: With an oath, John strode to the window. He stared, not at the yard below, but back to that fateful day.
Example: With a shudder, Craig mentally shut the door on the horror and answered the ringing phone.
Example: Her thoughts returned to the present.
Example: “Nothing can change what happened, nothing.” He turned from the window to face the woman sitting on the sofa.
One method to start a flashback is using objects or senses to trigger a memory of a past scene are precisely the devices you should use to trigger flashbacks in writing. Say that you want a character to remember something about his mother… Make him find her old apron at the back of a drawer. Make him see a stranger who reminds him of his mother.
6. Verb usage should lead into and out of a flashback.
If you write the story in past tense, you avoid the use of “had” as a helping verb most of the time to avoid passive voice. To begin a flashback, use “had” as a helping verb for the first sentence of or two to transition from the main part of the story to the flashback. Then return to simple past tense until the last sentence or two. For the last sentence or two of the flashback, use “had” as a helping verb again.
If you write in present tense (which I personally don’t prefer because it limits what the author can convey), you still handle the flashback as described above.
Below is an example, a sample of a flashback:
Marion’s head snapped up. “That would devastate Roger.” She frowned. “But, but, can you even do it?”
“Yes, I can do it. There’s nothing legal standing in the way. I just allowed him to take over more and more until I was just a ... a bystander.”
“Oh, my dear. When we first met, and you were so sure we should marry, I knew we faced problems, but I never thought they would last this long.” She laid her head back against her husband’s shoulder. “I had no idea that we would face something worse.”
“I’ll never forget the first time I saw you. So beautiful and still are.”
Marion smiled as she remembered the meeting that changed her life.
David had gone to town to pick up a load of barbed wire and posts. The fencing around the north pasture had to be replaced, but David hadn’t wanted to take the long trip to town. The wagon couldn’t take a shortcut across country but had to stay on the road that meandered another ten miles than the route a horse could take.
“A wasted day,” he muttered as he flicked the reins over the backs of the horses. “The old man could have sent one of the hands. No! He wants me to go.” The young man pounded a gloved fist on the seat beside him. “Had to leave before dawn, drive all day, load the stuff, and not get home until after dark. Wasted day.”
As he wove the horses and wagon through the crowded streets of Guthrie, he cursed the job, the crowds, the need to be in town. Then he spied the tall, slender woman standing on the wooden walk beside the dirt street. The breeze stirred her blue skirts, teasingly showing the tops of her laced shoes. One hand gathered the wind tossed strands of black hair and tried to force them back into place, but the wind just whipped them away. A wizened woman stood beside the younger one. Piles of bundles occupied space around both women.
David pulled the wagon to the side of the street, stopping beside the women. “Howdy, ma’am, miss.” He tipped his hat. “May I help you ladies?”
The younger woman blinked in surprise, her eyes a startling blue in the pale tan of her face. “I, uh, I think perhaps you ... ” She turned to her companion in confusion.
“Thank you, sir, for offering your help,” the old woman began, “but you’ll be better off if you aren’t seen speaking to us.”
David frowned. “And why is that? You seem decent ladies.”
A tall, grizzled man in buckskins joined the two women. “You are right, sir.” A southern drawl tinged his speech. “My mother and daughter are good, moral women, but the people of this town hold it against them that my father was half Cherokee.”
“So what?” David replied. “Most of us around here have some Indian in us.”
The man laughed. “You are rather naive, sir. Your parents would be shocked to know you spoke to us.”
“My parents do not tell me who I can talk with. They don’t control my friends.” David’s eyes narrowed. “I’m my own man and make my own decisions.”
The older man studied the younger for a few seconds. “I do believe you.” He stuck out his right hand. “I’m Henry Thunderhawk. This is my mother Margaret and my daughter Marion.”
David grabbed the other man’s hand, feeling the sinewy strength. “Glad to meet you, sir. May I help you load your things?” He motioned toward the bundles on the walk.
“I just discovered that the wheelwright can’t get to my wagon.” Henry Thunderhawk shrugged. “The wheel rim broke. And oddly there isn’t a wagon to buy, rent, or steal in town.”
“Well, if you’ll let me get my load on first, I’ll come back and pick you and your things up.” David glanced toward Marion. “It might be a bit tight fit, but if you don’t mind ...”
“Perhaps I should refuse your offer for your sake,” Henry suggested, “but I don’t want my mother and daughter exposed to any more hatred.” He shook his head, his longish hair flapping against his neck. “At least you won’t have to go but about a mile out of your way.”
Thereafter, David insisted on making trips to town for supplies. Each trip, he stopped at the Thunderhawk homestead, both going and coming. Each stop, he managed to spend at least a few minutes alone with Marion. One evening, as she walked to the wagon with him, David took her hand, pulling her to a stop.
“Marion, I, uh, I wonder if you’d mind if I talked to you dad about us?” He studied her face in the darkening light. “Or have I spoke too soon?”
The white of her smile shone through the twilight. “No, not too soon. I just hope you know what you’re asking.” She lightly brushed the side of his face with cool fingers.
“I know I want you for my wife. That’s all I need to know.” He ducked his head and brushed his lips across hers.
“Don’t promise something if you can’t keep it, David. I couldn’t stand that.” Marion had tried to smile again, but quivering lips wouldn’t allow the smile to form. “If you promise never to leave me, and then you did ... I couldn’t stand that.” She had lowered her head. “I would prefer that you never promise.”
Her thoughts returning to the present, Marion asked, “Remember when you promised you would never leave me? Your parents made it hard for you to keep that promise.”
A flashback can be a useful tool for a writer to use, if used correctly.
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Journey Back to the Archives
We all have a manuscript that gets locked in the drawer and never sees the light of day. That certainly wasn't the plan when you started. You spent days, weeks, and months pouring over your manuscript; writing every chance you got, determined to type "The End" one day.
Then that day came. The story over, the next step in the process involved editing. So, you cut, you polished, you corrected errors, and worked feverishly until your eyes glazed over.
Excited, you sent your beloved manuscript to a select group of beta readers. Then, you waited and waited, until the hives on your arms had hives because you felt so nervous over what your readers might say.
Then the feedback emerged. Gasp! How dare they say it isn't ready. The pacing is off? Absurd. The characters seemed one-dimensional? Outrageous. Not enough conflict? Did they even read it?
Disillusioned, you crammed that manuscript into the back corner of your desk, hid it under a tray of assorted office supplies, and forced yourself to believe it never really existed.
For many of us--including yours truly--this is the story of our first novel. Often referred to as the practice novel, this is our first real endeavor in writing a full-length manuscript. Sometimes we aren't ready to hear the truth about it. Sometimes, we haven't matured enough in our writing to create a marketable novel. That doesn't mean we should give up. It also doesn't mean all of it is worthless.
No matter how much time has passed, open the drawer, lift the tray, and pull out that manuscript. Even if you decide it's not worth salvaging as a whole, can you find pieces to develop into a fresh story? Is there a favorite character that you can breathe new life into?
Take a journey back to the archives of your writing. Things will look differently. Perhaps your next novel hides within those pages in your desk drawer.
Cheryl C. Malandrinos is a freelance writer and editor. She is the author of four children’s books including, A Christmas Kindness, released by 4RV Publishing. A blogger and book reviewer, she lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two daughters. She also has a son who is married. Visit Cheryl online at http://ccmalandrinos.com and her children’s book blog at https://childrensandteensbookconnection.wordpress.com
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
Working from Home During the Pandemic
Who knew when 2020 blew onto the scene that it would mean so many changes for all of us? I am not sure how it is where you are, but we are heading into week 14 of everyone at home. The girls finished school weeks ago. Looks like this will be a long summer.
Adjust Your Schedule
I am a firm believer that productivity increases if you find a work schedule that is best for you. With the kids home, however, that schedule might not be practical. Consider getting up an hour earlier than usual. While this might not be easy all year long, it is a temporary solution that can help you accomplish your weekly goals.
Take More Frequent Breaks
While it might seem counterproductive to take more breaks during the day, you’ll get more done if you don’t have to listen to, “I’m bored!” every five minutes.
Set a timer. When it goes off, put your work down and spend time with the kids. Read, have a picnic lunch in the backyard, or play a game together. Taking time out of your day to spend with the kids lets them know they are still important to you. And, let's face it, with everyone being home for weeks, a little fun time feels good.
Easy Arts and Crafts
Nowadays, there are so many arts and crafts kits available, and ideas on blogs or Pinterest, that you’re bound to find something your children like.
An excellent way to transition from family time back to work time is to have arts and crafts set out for the kids. When you’re done playing, let them choose what they want to create. Read the instructions together. Then let them know you need to work until the timer rings again. Have other simple activities such as molding clay, paints, or coloring books and crayons available in case they get bored with what they are working on.
If they distract you, remind them they can’t interrupt you until the timer goes off. As long as you consistently get up and spend time with them when promised, the kids will learn to respect your work schedule.
Mommy’s or Daddy’s Little Helpers
Young children love to help. Take advantage of this by allowing them to dust or sweep the floor. Will it be perfect? No. But, it will be good enough. Older children can do the laundry, wash dishes, empty the trash or clean the living areas. Kids don't always mind pitching in if it means they can spend time with you later.
Summer is a fun time for families. It can also be a productive season for you. With a few simple changes, you can work at home even when the kids are there.
Cheryl C. Malandrinos is a freelance writer and editor. She is the author of four children’s books including, A Christmas Kindness, released by 4RV Publishing. A blogger and book reviewer, she lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two daughters. She also has a son who is married. Visit Cheryl online at http://ccmalandrinos.com and her children’s book blog at https://childrensandteensbookconnection.wordpress.com
Sunday, June 7, 2020
5 Top Fiction Writing No-Nos
By Karen Cioffi
Fiction writers who are good at what they do, enjoy what they do. They like creating something from nothing . . . well from an idea. They enjoy the craft and the process – heck, they love it!
But, with that said, there are 5 top mistakes these writers need to be aware of and avoid.
1. You make the beginning of your story all roses.
While we’d all love to live in a peaceful, happy land, readers need something to sink their teeth into, especially at the beginning of the story.
The beginning of your story is the hook. It’s where you GRAB the reader and make her have to turn the page and want to know what’s going to happen to the protagonist.
Here are a couple of examples of ‘hooking’ beginnings:
“I have noticed that teachers get exciting confused with boring a lot. But when my teacher said, ‘Class, we have an exciting project to talk about,’ I listened away.”
“The Talented Clementine” by Sara Pennypacker.
“My name is India Opal Buloni, and last summer my daddy, the preacher, sent me to the store for a box of macaroni-and-cheese, some white rice, and two tomatoes and I came back with a dog.”
“Because of Winn-Dixie” by Kate DiCamillo
These two examples of children’s writing give you a good idea of what it takes to ‘hook’ the reader.
2. The dialog is weak, fluffy.
Having weak dialog can kill your story. You need your characters to have passion . . . to have life.
You want dialog that is strong and tight. You want the emotion (the conflict, the tension, the passion) to come through the words. And, you want to say it in as few words and as realistically as possible.
You want the reader to feel what the character is feeling at that moment.
If Bob is angry in the story, show it through his dialog:
“WHAT! Who said you could take that?!”
“Hey! What are you doing?!”
“No! You can’t. Now get lost.”
“Get your hands off of me!”
The tight, strong dialog goes for exchanges also:
“Hey! What are you doing?!” Bob yelled.
Gia spun around. “Oh, uh, nothing.” Her eyes darted to the door then back to Bob.
3. The story is predictable.
You’ve got to have some surprises in the story. If you don’t, it will make for a rather dull, predictable story.
For this aspect of your story, think questions.
- Why is the character in that situation?
- How did he get there?
- What must she be feeling, seeing?
- How can she get out of it?
- What might happen next?
Try to come up with four or five options as to what might happen next.
In an article at Writer’s Digest, the author advises to “Close your eyes and watch your scene unfold. Let the characters improvise. What are some outlandish things that could result? If something looks interesting, find a way to justify it.” (1)
Let your imagination run wild.
4. Your characters are one-dimensional.
For readers to become engaged in a story, they have to develop a connection with the protagonist and other characters. In order for this to happen, the characters must be multi-dimensional.
Characters need to be believable and unique. You don’t want them to be predictable or a stereotype.
According to “Breathing Life into Your Characters” by Rachel Ballon, Ph.D., “The essential components for creating successful characters with emotional and psychological depth—feelings, passion, desires, psychology, and vision—reside within [the writer].”
So, think about it. What conditions or characteristics does your character have?
- Is he stingy?
- Does she frighten easily?
- Is he a troublemaker of bully?
- Is she a risk take, on the fearless side?
- Does he listen to good advice?
- Does she get along with others?
- Does he have a personality disorder?
- Does he have phobias?
- Is she dysfunctional?
- Is she a troublemaker or bully?
- Is he anxious?
- Does she have an eating disorder?
- Is she fearful?
- Is she a risk taker, fearless?
And, keep in mind that the more stressful an ‘inciting incident’ or event, the more reaction and/or adjustment there will be.
For example: If a child lost a pet, it wouldn’t be as severe as losing a parent.
If a woman separated from her husband, it wouldn’t be as severe as having her husband suddenly die.
So, using your experiences and innate characteristics, along with research, you can create multi-faceted characters.
5. You dump information into the story.
This is more of a mistake that new writers may make. I had a client who created the entire first paragraph of her story with ‘information dump.’
Having the protagonist tell another character his entire backstory, along with other details the author wants to convey to the reader is a no-no. Backstory needs to be layered or weaved into the story, not dumped in one big truck load.
You might also use a prologue to give backstory.
While there are other things to watch for in fiction writing, these are five of the top no-nos.
Reference:
(1) 5 Biggest Fiction Writing Mistakes and Fixes
http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/the-5-biggest-fiction-writing-mistakes-how-to-fix-them
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen Cioffi is an award-winning children's author and a working children’s ghostwriter as well as the founder and editor-in-chief of Writers on the Move. You can find out more about writing for children and her services at: Karen Cioffi Writing for Children. Check out the DIY Page!
And, check out my new picture book: The Case of the Plastic Rings – The Adventures of Planetman
Labels:
fiction writing,
information dump,
Karen Cioffi,
writing dialog,
Writing for Children,
writing mistakes,
writing tips
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