Growing Beyond Rejection

Rejection. It happens to all of us. We hate it. Rejection can test our resolve, create self-doubt, and could lead to depression. And considering agents and publishers are often overwhelmed with submissions, the form letters that writers often receive don't provide desired feedback to propel them forward. 

So, how can writers grow beyond the pain of rejection? Here are a few tips to help you look forward instead of backward.

Give yourself time to grieve, just not too much.

You spent months, maybe years crafting a manuscript you felt ready for submission. Then the swift rejection comes, and it hurts. Instead of that Sally Field, "you like me" Oscars moment, you feel like your work never even garnered the attention of the nominating committee. 

It's okay to grieve for a day or two. Show yourself some compassion, just like you would to a friend if the same shoes were on their feet. Then it's time for action.

Write a letter about how you feel or journal through the experience.

After one recent rejection, I opened my online journal and just let it all out. Taking the time to write or type out your true feelings allows you to express them without judgement or repercussions. 

Take time to write down or journal about your writing strengths. This allows you to focus on the positives. 

Switch gears.

Maybe you need a couple of days away from this manuscript. What can you do in the interim so you come back to the project energized? Write something new. Exercise. Take walks and observe nature. Have breakfast or lunch with a friend. 

Look forward.

If the rejection letter provides feedback, consider those comments. What can you glean from them? Is there still work to do? Put together a plan to accomplish that work. 

Make sure you continue to research new markets where you can submit your manuscript. Revise your query letter so it is ready for those new submissions. 

A rejection doesn't define you or your writing. Growing beyond the rejection by finding an outlet for your feelings and putting together an action plan will put you on a forward path.

 

Cheryl C. Malandrinos is a freelance writer and award-winning editor. She is the author of four children’s books including, A Christmas Kindness, released by 4RV Publishing. A blogger and book reviewer, she is a member of SCBWI and lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three adult children. Visit Cheryl's website at https://ccmalandrinos.com or her children’s book blog at https://childrensandteensbookconnection.wordpress.com

Increase Writing Productivity with Friction

Photo credit: freepik.com

In her 2019 book, Good Habits, Bag Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes Stick, social psychologist Wendy Wood discussed how she used experience sampling to discover that 43% of our daily actions are habitual. Wood believes that the key to changing habits is to modify our environment to create or remove "friction," which makes the old way of doing things less desirable than the new way. 

So, how could that work in our writing world? 

Example One: Remove friction by focusing on writing.

You sit down for 30 minutes to write. You come to a place in the chapter where you must describe a clothing item from the 1900s, but you need a visual aid.

Old Habit: Hop on the internet and research that item.

You look up half an hour later, because you know we often get lost in research, and notice you've used all your writing time.

New Habit: Type a reminder of what you need to research inside a set of brackets and highlight it so you can find it easier when you have time for research. 

Example Two: Remove friction by reducing distractions.  

You get up an hour early to write before the kids get up. 

Old Habit: Sit down at your desk and quickly check your email (so that is out of the way for later). 

Checking email then leads to looking at your notifications, checking the weather, etc. By the time you finish up, you hear the little one across the hall stirring, so writing time is done. 

New Habit: Take a pad and paper or a device in airplane mode to a quiet spot and use a timer so you write until you hear the chime. 

Example Three: Create friction by making it harder to snack so it doesn't reduce your energy levels.

Since you enjoy snacking while you write, you have some snacks on the nearby filing cabinet. 

Old Habit: Snack while writing and soon notice your energy levels waning.

New Habit: Keep snacks out of your writing space and write using a timer or by setting a specific word count so you don't snack until you're done.

What are some ways you can create or remove friction in your environment to increase productivity?

 

Cheryl C. Malandrinos is a freelance writer and award-winning editor. She is the author of four children’s books including, A Christmas Kindness, released by 4RV Publishing. A blogger and book reviewer, she is a member of SCBWI and lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three adult children. Visit Cheryl's website at https://ccmalandrinos.com or her children’s book blog at https://childrensandteensbookconnection.wordpress.com