The Sound of Story

By Suzanne Y. Cordatos

www.suzannecordatos.blogspot.com

The cool music director of my daughter’s 5^th grade band goes for classic rock ‘n roll and traditional marches— the stuff that sounds good really loud. The young people haven't yet developed the ability to play a range of sounds through their shiny new instruments, so these pieces sound good the louder the better!

Does your work-in-progress sound too one-note?

• Is your writing packed with lightning-paced action?
•  Do you play tour guide for your readers, meandering through description (and avoiding nasty things like confronting your beloved character with bad guys and car chases?)
• Is witty, contemporary dialogue your thing?
• Do you stay in your comfort zone by relying heavily on one of these elements?

A radio hit tells us we’ll “miss the sun when it starts to snow” and we'll know you "love her when you let her go.” Without contrasts, it is difficult to recognize what is sometimes right in front of our noses. In a good book, readers are more compelled to turn pages when emotional highs and lows pull them along. Who doesn't like to cheer in the stands when a favorite character is the underdog?

Layer notes in your composition

•          Make satisfying “ups” by writing worst-case “downs”
•          If your story flies at a fast pace, how will the climax stand out?
•          If the characters don’t slow down to offer their thoughts, when will the reader identify with a character and process what is happening?
•     Talking-head characters need feet grounded in reminders of setting, so a reader can walk along. 

Musicians grow in talent when they add notes and technique to their repertoire. The conductor guides an ensemble through the score to convey the composer’s intended volume and feeling: soft pianissimo, loud forte, dramatic rhythm, or soothing flow. Music can play upon emotions like a dance, a falling in and out of love. My other talented daughter is singing this weekend in a production of Les Miserables with Colchester Community Theater. The music in Les Mis has the power to make one feel hope, anger, love, determination, longing and despair—and I’m probably missing another half dozen emotions in this list! Who doesn't love a good show (OR BOOK) that makes us laugh and cry, often at the same time?

Warning: One-note novels can be boring and exhausting to read.  

For a more interesting balance, alternate scenes with moments of contemplation—a quiet opportunity for your main character to reflect on what has gone down. More importantly, it will give your reader time to worry about what comes next. 

Have you enjoyed a book especially "musical" in its emotional complexity? When you read, do you like to feel you are in the competent hands of a good conductor? Share some titles!

BE YOUR OWN CRITIQUE PARTNER

     Critique partners or groups can be a writer's valuable asset, but what happens when your time is short or you lose your partner? Laying aside your story in progress for a period of time gives you a new perspective and a fresh approach.

          How long is a period of time?

          That depends on time available..

               Optimal would be months or at least weeks. Put aside the story and 1) Write several articles, short stories, or blog posts  2) Plot out a new manuscript 3) Rewrite another  rough draft 4) Brainstorm new ideas for stories 5) Write a brand new rough draft 6) Do final edits on a story for deadline

               If you don’t have weeks or months, aim for days. 1) Attend a conference or workshop 2) Take a vacation 3) Write one or two short pieces 4) Do a major housecleaning or closet redo 5) Take a temporary job or  get involved in a volunteer opportunity.

               What if a deadline is looming and you have mere hours? 1) Take a walk outdoors 2) Go for a couple hours of shopping and try on clothes 3)Watch a movie 4) Meet a friend for lunch or a coke 5) Have a heart to heart talk with a loved one.

Do you get the idea? Take a break from that story. Move your thinking away from it. Allow a short period of time when your mind dwells on something besides that story.

Now, you’re ready to go back over it for a critique.

Use the same techniques that you use to critique someone else’s work. Here’s a possible ten things to remember.

1.  Don’t dwell on the negative. Point out what you like about the writing or story and bask in the warm glow of confidence.

 

     2. Does the first sentence or two make you want to read more?  Does the beginning set the tone of

         the book and keep that tone until the end?

3. Does the ending satisfy you and tie up all loose ends?

 

4. Do you lose interest about chapter 4-7, or does your interest continue to peak? Check for plot points and the black moment. Could you eliminate or add characters? Does it flow? Is the pace appropriate for each scene?

5. Check for passive words. Do you have lots of action verbs? Can you turn sentences around to make them active? Circle the words was, were, have, had, to be, being. Is there some of them you can eliminate?

Examples: Before: Lacey’s body was tense.

                  After:   Tension gripped Lacey’s body.

                 Before: Shelley’s head was hot from the sun beaming on it.

                  After:    Sunbeams heated Shelley’s head.

Look through your manuscript for such examples you might improve.

              

6. Is there a portion of your story that you summarized which should be a real-time scene? What about the reverse? Is there a real-time scene that you might summarize to avoid lagging interest? Is there any scene that doesn’t further the story or the characterization. If so, eliminate it.

 

7. Do a find for words that you use too often and get rid of them? I seem to love just so often have to delete it. What about at least, more often, really, a lot?” What about a really good word that adds to your story like captivate? Use only once, or it ceases to carry power

Examples: Before: She just loved the mall.

                  After:   She loved the mall. – This means the same without the extra word,.

       You might use the extra word as part of your characterization, however.

 

         Adverbs, got to love them, or hate them, but most experts say delete them.

Examples: Before: I’m very excited to be here.

                              After:     I’m excited to be here.

              Leave off the adverb and it means the same thing.

              Maybe, it would be better to turn it around and make it active.

                                  Excitement doubled me over with stomach butterflies.

 

8. Is every portion of dialogue needed? Does it further the story? Does it tell about the character? Does each character's dialogue sound different? Does body language replace words? 

Examples:   “Hey, Lace, stop it. You’re a gorgeous woman.”

                     “Ditto, Boss."

                     “I’m old, overweight, and overwhelmed. That’s what I am and that's what I'll stay because I'm weak-willed and a pushover..”

        Did I succeed at sounding like three different characters without dialogue tags or beats? That’s our challenge.

.    9.     Check for point of view problems. Look through one person's eyes only. We can know their

            thoughts, what they see, what they smell, but we can't know anyone else's view.

             Check for show, don't tell problems. This gets many of us.

                       I can't just tell you Victoria hates living in the country.

                       I must show chickens pecking her legs, and the sun burning her face. Her thoughts

                              must  reveal the loneliness she feels without a friend..

    10. Did you introduce too many characters in the beginning and confuse the reader? Start with no

           more than three named characters if possible. A good way then to introduce other characters is

           to let us learn about them from the original characters before introducing them.

Read your story out loud and look for anything that makes you stop, pause, or try to understand. Instead, keep the reader plowing through your words not being able to stop even at the chapter breaks.

Use a critique partner if you can. If not, be your own. 

Janet K. Brown lives in Wichita Falls, Texas and loves to write, visit with grandkids, and travel with her husband in their RV.  4RV Publishing released her debut novel, Victoria and the Ghost, an inspirational YA in 2012. The example in number nine above comes from that book. Visit with Janet at her website/blog: http://www.janetkbrown.com

 

 

Purchase site for Victoria and the Ghost. http://4rvpublishingcatalog.yolasite.com/janet-brown.php

 

 

5 Tips to Make Dialogue POP

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. Many celebrated by popping their own fireworks or watching experts pop them making beautiful displays of fire and light. Writing dialogue filled with a fiery pop challenges every fiction writer.

 A couple of weeks ago, I attended a 4-day Immersion with psychologist, writer, world-acclaimed teacher, Margie Lawson. I returned home with my mind popping with ideas. Today, I’d like to give you my key take-back-to use tips from that workshop.

 

A big percent of dialogue is silent.

1. How does your character sound?  Is he loud? Does she speak with throaty, sultry undertones? When a person speaks, we listen to how they say something as much as we listen for the actual words.

“Charles” can become a question, an endearment, or a cry of fear. On the paper, how would I know, if I don’t explain how the dialogue is delivered? If I’m scared, I might write it like:

     “Charles.” The tone she used sounded like the squeal of a tornado alarm.

 

 If I’m telling of my love, you would see something like:

    “Charles.” The lilt of my words seemed to wash over him like a bubble bath.

2. What’s your character’s body language?  He might shift with nervousness or cross his arms over his chest, but I doubt he stands still. Show us what he looks like while he speaks. For ideas, watch people in a waiting room. They thumb through magazines. They cross and swing their right leg. They shift positions several times. They clasp hands and roll their thumbs in a circular motion. Study body language at a mall, an airport, or a library.

 

     3. Is there action going on while they talk? People often work while they talk. They may continue

        to saddle a horse, or wash the dishes. They may move closer into their friend’s face. Do they

        skip, run, or do calisthenics while they answer, in which case, they are probably breathless?

 

      4. Do you want your character to smile? Good. What does the smile look like? Is it a brilliant,

         thousand-watt smile or one that’s bittersweet, disappointed, sad?

 

      5. Describe your character. The first time you “meet” the character, the reader needs to visualize

          the person.

With glasses perched on her tousled-blonde head, she twisted her mouth in a lost-

                        in-thought reflection. “That might work.”

            Or, you may know the character, but need to see the effects on their looks later in the book.

            This is a good place for similes or alliteration to heighten the description, such as:

                    “I wish I could do that.” Her face relaxed like a prune soaking in water.

 

I hope my take-home tips spur your imagination to add pizzazz or pop or potential to your prose. Don’t forget the non-verbal communication. I would love to read your examples.

How to push your book designer over the edge

by Vivian Zabel 

        Your book is edited; you and the editor think it is finished; the department head proofed it and sent it to the designer for formatting; the designer, who is not an editor but has formatted and helped copy edit enough manuscripts to recognize some common problems recognizes that more work is needed, or not. She formats and sends a PDF proof to the author, the proof reader, the editor, and the person who pays the bills. She asks everyone to go over the proof carefully and thoroughly. She gives directions as to how she wants each person to send his/her comments, changes, and solutions to problem areas each finds. One, yes, just one, person followed her request. She ends up with four documents, all "organized" or "disorganized" differently and hard to follow. She wants each change/suggestion/comment in order from front of the manuscript to the end, not jumping from one section to the other, but most don't list the problems areas in order.

        That problem is enough to push the designer over the edge, but then she looks at one of the documents. The person who sent the document doesn't understand some of the more elementary grammar or writing necessities. When a designer, who is NOT an editor, recognizes the problems, maybe it's time authors and editors do, too.

        Here are a few examples of what should already be known by writers and by editors:

1.  Dad, Mom, Sis, Grandpa, and other nouns are not capitalized IF an adjective is before it. For example, your mom, not your Mom; my grandpa, not my Grandpa.

2.  A character's thoughts are italicized and the words I, my, mine, or any other first person pronoun doesn't have to be included in the wording to make thoughts. They are words that the narrator wouldn't/shouldn't use as part of the narration -- unless the manuscript is written in first person.

      For example: Mary walked toward the door. Why shouldn't the world stop spinning for her. No, she gets everything she wants. The italicized words are not something the narrator should be writing, but something Mary thinks.

3.  Thoughts, which are italicized, must make sense as thoughts. Words spoken should not be confused with words thought by a character.

4.  Editors or authors who are not sure about something should get help from someone who does know before telling the designer to do something wrong.

5.  If each person involved in the copy edit sends in his/her revisions, sending in contradictory revisions for the same exact problems, the designer is forced  to make a judgement call or pester the boss. Each successive person should read the preceding person's edits. The designer follows the following chain of command: The author is outranked by the the editor; the editor is outranked by the department head, who is outranked by the company head. Everyone usually finishes proofing a proof at different times; therefore, seeing what others said first would help a person see if he or she agrees or not. A quick email would help each person better understand why or why not.

6.  Follow the style manual of the publishing house that is doing your book. Read it, refer to it, refer to it again, read it, follow it.

        I'm sure other things make a book designer want to snatch him or herself bald, but those are a few that can be easily fixed, if a person really wants to be a better writer or better editor.

Self Editing Tip - Understanding "Beats"

The Fresh Beat Band



By: Stephanie Burkhart
It's been said writing for publication can be defined as "10% writing and 90% editing." Writing is easy, but self-editing is a challenge all by itself. Today, I thought I'd talk about "beats," what they are and when to use them effectively as you go back through editing your story.

A beat is that tidbit of action laced through a scene. Beats are usually used with dialogue. Examples of Beats: heads nodding, worrying or nipping at the lower lip, gazing out the window and fisting the hands. Those are examples of external beats. A short interior monologue would be an example of an internal beat. Using a beat allows for a couple of things:

#1 varies the pace of the dialogue
#2 ties the dialogue to the setting and characters
#3 allows for small bits of imagery - keep in mind: Use only small bits. Too much description can be condescending to the reader.
#4 beats anchor your story to reality

How many beats do you need? That depends on the ebb and flow your dialogue. If you're writing a high tension scene it's best to use a minimum amount of beats. If you're in a less tense scene, you might want more beats.
Remember: use "fresh" beats. No two people walk across a room the same way. People watch. You get some good ideas from that. Pay attention to beats that you read. You can learn a lot from reading.

I've also noticed that when writing a young children's story, that you still have to mind your "beats." You don't need a "he said," "she replied" after every bit of dialogue. (As I've seen in some stories) I've noticed my 5 year old's rhythm is thrown off if he has to read a lot of "he said," "she replied."

Reference: Self-Editing for Fiction Writer by Renni Brown and Dave King, Harper Resource, 2nd Edition, 2004, 279 pages.

Emotions Are Universal

Emotions Are Universal by Joan Y. Edwards

Put emotions in your story. It makes your characters come alive. One way to make your story have universal appeal is to add the tension of opposing emotions inside your character. We all feel mixed emotions every day. Should we do this? We shouldn’t do that. It’s smart to do this. How could I be so stupid? How could he be so naive? What’s the wisest choice? Do I get a choice? When a character has two or three choices and none of them seem very good, it adds tension. It makes the reader want to turn the page.

You ask me, “What are the main emotions?” Here are three lists of emotions:

Paul Ekman’s Big Six Emotions
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Happiness
Sadness
Surprise

Ekman’s Eleven Other Basic Emotions
Amusement
Contempt
Contentment
Embarrassment
Excitement
Guilt
Pride in achievement
Relief
Satisfaction
Sensory pleasure
Shame

Robert Plutchik's Two Added Emotions (Wikipedia)
Acceptance
Anticipation

Nine Emotions of The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin
Acceptance
Anger
Apathy
Courageousness
Fear
Grief
Lust
Peace
Pride

All people experience emotions. Put believable emotions into your story. It will help your story reach out and hook more readers. You want your readers emotionally involved with the characters in the story. If they are emotionally involved, they’ll want to find out what happens to them.

Read this sentence: Jake was disgusted.

You might say the writer put the emotion into the sentence. The word, “disgusted,” is there, but we don’t feel the emotion. Add action, setting, and description of face and body to make the emotion come alive.

Below is dialogue I made up right here on the spot, just for you. See if it showed emotions through the dialogue, action, setting, and description of face and body.

Jake thought as he looked at the men pawing the waitress. “How can they do that?” His heart pounded inside his chest. He remembered his sister talking to him about the man who raped her. She said, “No one tried to stop him.”

Jake immediately left the bar stool. He stood in front of Preston Richards. “Take your two men and leave. Don’t ever come back.”

“You and whose army is going to make me leave,” Preston said as he blew smoke from his cigar into Jake’s face.

Jake’s three bouncers approached. They were six foot five and weighed 300 pounds. Their muscles were larger than Preston’s whole face.

Preston said, “Okay. We’re leaving. But, we’ll be back to get her later. You can count on it.”

Did I show any emotions without actually using the words for the emotions? I think I did. I hope you think I did, too.

If you find you’re using the word for the emotion: he was sad, she was angry, etc. It’s time for a rewrite. What you wrote isn’t wrong. It’s just not complete. It is a hint that you need to show the emotion with other words, similar to what you would do with your body if you were playing charades. You can’t use words in charades, but you can use your body and nearby props. Do that with your writing.

Use the search and find in your word-processing program. Find any plain emotion words and replace them with appropriate action, setting, dialogue, and description.

Keep a journal observing yourself or other people experiencing six emotions from the lists above. As an experiment, put down each emotion and write down visible signs or invisible signs (what’s going on inside the body) of this emotion. Keep this close to your computer so that when you are writing your next scene, you can use these ideas as spring boards to heighten the showing part of your writing.

Here are website links with information about emotions:

1. Swati Chopra Ancient Indian Emotions Nine States of Emotional Empowerment
2. Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions

3. Great gives text descriptions of body when feeling 6 basic emotions
4. Pamela Berry. Clip Art Guide Great pictures matched with emotions – Free to look, pay to use on websites and in print.

5. Feeling Faces Cards.com and icons
6. Emotion puts expression on faces on Face and Emotion.com
7. Words Describing Feelings on Eqi.org
8. Words Describing Common Negative Feelings on Eqi.org
9. Aristotle’s and Robert Plutchik’s List of Emotions from Wikipedia

Thanks for reading this blog post. Good luck with your writing.

Never Give Up

Joan Y. Edwards

Joan’s Elder Care Guide 4RV Publishing Release Date: June 2015

Website http://www.joanyedwards.com

Blog http://www.joanyedwards.wordpress.com