Growing Beyond Rejection

Rejection. It happens to all of us. We hate it. Rejection can test our resolve, create self-doubt, and could lead to depression. And considering agents and publishers are often overwhelmed with submissions, the form letters that writers often receive don't provide desired feedback to propel them forward. 

So, how can writers grow beyond the pain of rejection? Here are a few tips to help you look forward instead of backward.

Give yourself time to grieve, just not too much.

You spent months, maybe years crafting a manuscript you felt ready for submission. Then the swift rejection comes, and it hurts. Instead of that Sally Field, "you like me" Oscars moment, you feel like your work never even garnered the attention of the nominating committee. 

It's okay to grieve for a day or two. Show yourself some compassion, just like you would to a friend if the same shoes were on their feet. Then it's time for action.

Write a letter about how you feel or journal through the experience.

After one recent rejection, I opened my online journal and just let it all out. Taking the time to write or type out your true feelings allows you to express them without judgement or repercussions. 

Take time to write down or journal about your writing strengths. This allows you to focus on the positives. 

Switch gears.

Maybe you need a couple of days away from this manuscript. What can you do in the interim so you come back to the project energized? Write something new. Exercise. Take walks and observe nature. Have breakfast or lunch with a friend. 

Look forward.

If the rejection letter provides feedback, consider those comments. What can you glean from them? Is there still work to do? Put together a plan to accomplish that work. 

Make sure you continue to research new markets where you can submit your manuscript. Revise your query letter so it is ready for those new submissions. 

A rejection doesn't define you or your writing. Growing beyond the rejection by finding an outlet for your feelings and putting together an action plan will put you on a forward path.

 

Cheryl C. Malandrinos is a freelance writer and award-winning editor. She is the author of four children’s books including, A Christmas Kindness, released by 4RV Publishing. A blogger and book reviewer, she is a member of SCBWI and lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three adult children. Visit Cheryl's website at https://ccmalandrinos.com or her children’s book blog at https://childrensandteensbookconnection.wordpress.com

Do You Need a Special Hat for Writing?

"Do You Need a Special Hat for Writing?" by Joan Y. Edwards

Copyright © 2013 Joan Y. Edwards
Do You Need a Special Hat for Writing?

I've always heard that a writer needs a special hat to wear when he/she is writing. Do you need a special hat for writing? What do you think? Perhaps you need a hard hat. Sometimes, you may feel like you need a bullet-proof vest and helmet to filter negative criticism. The trouble is when you wear such a bullet-proof helmet and vest, you stop the bad things from going through, but you also stop the good things from going through. Even when wearing a bullet-proof vest, the impact of the bullet may be enough to knock you down.

I suggest instead that writers need a transformer shield around you to filter the words of rejection and criticism and translate them into words to better yourself and get to your goal. You want the negative words transformed into words that inspire you to reach higher. You want words, beliefs, and actions that enable you to grow in your personal life and your writing skills, too.

Just like a character in one of your books, you may have inner and outer conflicts that try to stop the publication of your work. Keep a journal. Write down your feelings and body reactions to the comments of editors and agents. Then put these descriptions into your writing. If your own and other people's negative words and actions are put into the filter and stirred in with God's graces and blessings, they come out in words and actions that mold you into a stronger person and a better writer.

Realize that just because one person says something bad, that doesn't make it true. It is one person's opinion. It does not make the statement a fact for you...unless you believe it.

One publisher says, "This doesn't mean our needs." There is a publisher for your story. It might not meet one publisher's needs, but there is a publisher for your story. Search and you will find it. Look for a publisher of similar books and explain how your book has a clever twist to it.

One editor says, "The market for this book is too small. We won't make any money on it, therefore we won't print it." There is a small publisher or magazine editor who will take a chance on your small niche publication. Look for ways to show that even this small niche will have thousands of potential readers. It can make more money than anyone ever imagined from it. Search and you will find it.

If a special hat helps you believe more in yourself, choose a hat. Believe in you and your stories. Believe in your writing no matter what other people say. Believe in you and your stories, especially when no one else believes in them. Believe in them, no matter what your circumstances are. Treasure your stories. Clothing may make the man, but inner belief, writing skills, perseverance, and determination make the story. Hone your skills. Keep writing. Keep submitting. You will be published again and again.

Joan's Elder Care Guide release June 2015 by 4RV Publishing.
Check out my Never Give Up blog.
Joan Y. Edwards


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